Dealing with Death!

I don't care what anyone says I don't think anyone is ever ready for death no matter how much time you have.

Its always hard on the family left behind. 


Yes, sometimes its a blessing knowing they aren't in pain or suffering anymore but its still hard.

Yesterday in youngest Wolf Daughter  biology class we were studying different kinds of disease and what can and can't happen with each disease out there.

So, we started talking about death. Both Wolf Daughters have had to deal with death in the family like aunts, uncle and grandparents.  So they understand it to some degree. 

Do any of understand it?  Yes in our own way.

I remember when I was young 15 when I lost my first really close relative and it still haunts me to this day it was my father. He was a great father yes he had his bad side but who don't right.
My father was a hard worker. He worked two jobs to support his large family.
One night he came home and was eating steak and choke that was the end of my fathers short life on earth. It was a sad night and many days to come after that.

I was lost for along time. I didn't know which way to go. My mother was mess never worked in the work force, never drove and we lived in the country and had a large young family to raise it was hard on her too.

Then we move to a town and we had a swimming pool a few months later my sister who was 14 at the time passed away. She drown in the pool. We were close very close in age and we did everything together.
I was so down and gave up on God for along time.

I couldn't understand why he was taking everyone I loved away from me.

Things seem to be quiet for awhile not long about 9 months then a younger brother of mine passed. WHY?   I never could understand I am 16 and facing all this already wow.

Then a grandpa and uncle pass. I was beginning to think that is life everyone goes really fast.

I was so scared for the longest time. Stop believe and start to hate everything and everyone around me and could never understand why everyone is always so happy. How can you be so happy? Life is not good.
I remember so clear I would go around feeling for my pulse all the time. Wondering if I was next.

I knew I couldn't keep living like this and going on like this I need to change and if it took moving a mountain to do it I was going to do it. 

I know it was a heavy mountain to move and took me awhile to move it but I did and glad I did.  I do have days though I wonder is it worth it. The answer is Yes.   Is life fair?  The answer is no.  Is life easy?  The answer is no .

I did find out that some things is in life you have to fight for and the fight might be hard.

But, in the end its worth it.